Supermum? Rubbish!

I feel more than rubbish at the minute.

I have a lovely, lovely friend who tells me I am amazing and wonderful and calls me supermum and sometimes, when she says it, I see myself through her eyes and actually believe her, almost, a little bit.

Supermum? Me? Never? (Though I do love shopping at the supermum's craft fair website and facebook page, where this fab picture comes from. She really is Supermum!

Supermum? Me? Never? (Though I do love shopping at the supermum’s craft fair website and facebook page, where this fab picture comes from. She really is Supermum!

But mostly, like tonight, I feel just rubbish.

I am trying so hard to do so much. Sometimes, I feel I’m getting close to achieving something, and then it all goes to pieces.

I am a woman, so naturally I can multi-task but even I am struggling here.

I am a mum who stays at home with my two preschoolers. I like to spend time with them during the day.

I am a wife and I like to spend time with my husband in the evenings once our beautiful children are asleep.

I am a tutor and I like to be well prepared for my tutoring sessions, necessitating time spent thinking about them, finding or making resources, photocopying texts etc etc.

I am an Usborne bookseller – I like to know what I’m talking about when I’m selling my books so I need to find time to read them. I need to advertise my business to book stalls at fairs and toddler groups, run book parties, attend meetings and training sessions, I need to keep up with my accounts for both businesses…

I like blogging. I like writing all my thoughts and experiences to record them for myself and my family and to clear my rather over worked brain.

I like to, just occasionally, sleep, or have a bubble bath or do something just for me…

Actually what happens is, I have a shower by myself while hubby gets the kids up and, if I’m lucky, dressed and/or breakfasted. Then I am with them from 8-6 – we play, read, do puzzles, go to lovely places with lovely friends or just by ourselves. In amongst that we eat, cook and sometimes do a bit of housework. Often I break up arguments, soothe hurt bodies and egos – and that’s just my 3 and 1 year olds. I get followed everywhere I go and don’t have a minute to myself, especially now the daytime napping is stopping. Then hubby gets home, we eat and the children go to bed. Hubby sits down to relax after a hard day at work and I start doing tutoring prep, online business networking, paperwork etc etc. Often hubby goes to bed in a strop that I’ve not spent the evening snuggled up watching TV with him and I stay up writing newsletters, blogs, doing accounts etc.

I think I just need an extra few hours to a day, or maybe an extra day or two a week to fit everything in!

Any tips or advice, people? I would like to feel a little more in control and able to enjoy my days rather than loving bits of them and then feeling under so much pressure to do so much I stay up til the early hours working and feel tired when I wake up, even though the kids are now finally sleeping through the night (Really hope I’ve not just jinxed that!)

Maybe on the outside, to my lovely friend and others, I look in control but believe me, I’m like one of those plate spinners, I get one part of my life going smoothly and then notice something I should have done and have to rush to do it before it reaches crisis point. Or maybe I’m like a duck.  I may look like I’m gliding serenely but actually under the water I’m paddling madly just to stay in the same place… Maybe if I can maintain the illusion it might some day become real?!

But now, at 23.37, I’ve just realised O is back to preschool tomorrow after half term and I promised I’d finish sticking photos into his holiday diary… Must dash! And then, hopefully, to bed.


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One thought on “Supermum? Rubbish!

  1. I can fully relate to you feeling like a plate spinner! As a stay at home Mum I often feel like I’m trying to juggle several things at once, while trying to keep everyone happy. My hubby thinks I spend far too much time on my laptop! The only advice I can give is don’t be too hard on yourself and make sure you do get some time for you. I always say a happy house starts with a happy Mummy :-)

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